Good evening! So here I am feeling a little sick, dizzy, and sad. Just a little though. The day has gone well. The negative feelings are a result of other issues. I feel sick and dizzy due to sleep deprivation. Last night, I just lay there for hours unable to sleep. I didn't fall asleep until it was light outside. I think I dozed in and out between 6am and 8am. My body wanted more sleep but I forced myself to get up. I didn't want my sleep pattern to be fucked for the next week (or more!). I'm really proud of myself for getting up at 8! The whole reason I was unable to sleep last night is because I fucked my sleep up the previous night. I lost track of time, turned to look at the window, and was shocked to see the sun coming up. Yeah, it was 5am when I thought it was 1am. I was thinking "Oh I'll let myself stay up until 1am because its Friday night and I can sleep in a little". 5am is beyond ridiculous though. I am too old and fragile for that shit! :') But, hopefully getting up this morning and riding out the queasiness will set me right.
It's 930pm right now. I've set a timer to tell me when the washing machine is finished. I'll go downstairs, bring the laundry in from outside, hang up the wet laundry, then get ready for bed. Then I'll probably work on some Spotify playlists for half an hour or so then try sleeping. I'm so used to late nights recently that I'm afraid I'll still have trouble sleeping at that time. Especially because I know my kids will still be awake for several hours. They're old enough to be left alone and are pretty quiet so it will be ok.
I've still managed to get a lot done today. I did hella work on my website. It's still saved locally on my laptop but I think I'm pretty much ready to upload. There are still pages that need creating but the main page is basically done. To start work on the other pages, I need to take pictures of my crochet projects and scan in my art. I'll get to it eventually. Lord knows where all my crochet projects are though. There are so many. I have found a lot of my art though so that's good. I was afraid I had lost it because I couldn't find it or my art supplies for a few weeks after moving. Now it's all safe and organised in my desk again! Whew!
I also got a fair bit of housework done today and yesterday. The sun was strong today with a light breeze so I powered through the laundry. I think I got 3 or 4 loads done. It was so backed up because I'd not be taking care of myself or the house for a few days. I also looked up how to cook boiled eggs in a rice cooker! We still don't have a cooker so haven't been able to cook much since moving. We've used the George Foreman grill a few times which has been great but I miss actual cooking and real meals. But the eggs came out great! I will need to adjust the cooking time for our specific rice cooker because they were a little overdone. But they filled our bellies so it's a definite win! :-D
Shit! It's now 1015pm. I went down to do the laundry then got distracted chatting to my son. He wanted to browse our "For You" page on Spotify. His is pure metal and heavy rock. Mine is basically 80% Kpop 20% Studio Ghibli. :')
Now, why is sleep so important? Here's where I try to convince/remind myself that I HAVE to sleep. Sleep repairs, restores, and organises our brains. We can not function without any more than we can survive without food, oxygen, and water. Yet, so many of us are surviving on the bare minimum (or less!). Either we're super busy and find it difficult to prioritise sleep or we stay up late just to get a chance to chill out away from responsibilites. We are damaging our brains by not getting enough sleep.
I especially need sleep because of my epilepsy. It's actually extremely important that I keep to a schedule where I don't sleep too much or too little. But, now and then, I lose track of time and throw it off. I've been through stretches where I kept very good sleep hygiene and the difference in how I felt was amazing. Being able to think more clearly is so good. I also have ADHD so processing things, making decisions, staying focused and on track is already difficult. I know I will feel physically and mentally better if I sleep properly but I still ignore that and stay up late. It's so silly. It often helps for me to either say out loud or write out the obvious facts for it to really sink in. That's what I'm trying to do here. YOU NEED SLEEP YOU IDIOT DUH STOP BEING STUPID FFS! Having epilepsy, having had several concussions, and taking epilepsy meds cause real problems with memory and depriving myself of sleep compounds this problem.
Lack of sleep has also been linked to physical health issues like coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, and stroke. I'm getting older now, smoked for many years (no longer!), and have a chronic neurological disease so I really should be thinking about these things. I want to be around for my kids for as long as possible. Not only "around" but capable of living life; moving my body, communicating, experiencing as much as possible. Epilepsy has been linked to a higher rater of dementia so why make that risk even worse for the sake of a few hours of messing around doing stupid shit at night? Am I really sacrificing my future for that? Sleep deprivation also causes problems with hormone regulation which can lead to a higher risk of diabetes. As a fat person who doesn't regularly eat well and gets very little physical activity in, I should really be considering that.
So.Yeah.Sleep.You need it.
Next lecture to myself: Why brushing your teeth is important. :-P
I'll leave you with this music video.
'Lose my Breath (Feat. Charlie Puth)' by Stray Kids:
