Hi again. It's been a while. I have been writing almost every night but only in my private journal. I literally write for hours. It's slowed down a little recently though but that is for a good reason. I tend to write a lot more when I'm upset or struggling with something. These days, I'm alright. Actually, I'm so happy lately. Today is the first day I have felt sadness in quite a while. It wasn't a lot though. Nothing overwhelming.
What did I do today? Well, like every Friday, I got to the gym at 8am. Being that I had to miss Monday, I did a full body workout with a focus on legs. I missed Monday because I started my period. Annoying but there's nothing I can do about it. I know my legs are gonna be super painful over the next couple of days but I have to take advantage of this phase of my cycle. Definitely gonna be hobbling around for my birthday. lmao. I don't mind. I fucking love my big strong legs now.
Anyway, after the gym, I went to B&M and ASDA as usual. I only had a few quid so I just got a few bits of food we needed. There were some items I had to leave though. I wanted to buy some chicken but that will have to wait until payday. I then walked to the bus station and headed home. The kids were still asleep. My son usually comes down in the morning to see me out but then goes back to bed. There's been a couple of times where he's left the chain on and I've had to bang on the door and ring the doorbell like crazy to wake them up. He's been good about it lately though.
I think I got home around 11 today. I had a snack and a little nap as usual. While I was sleeping, my Chromebook arrived. I'm using it right now. It's alright. I would never buy one but it came free with my phone. I figure it'll be good for journaling at least. Really, it's a glorified word processor and web browser. The kids set up their own accounts as well. My son is particularly looking forward to using it to write his scripts at a coffee shop. I'm not sure if my daughter is as excited about it. I had originally planned to give it to her because she only has a busted old laptop whilst my son and I have a proper pc and I also have a laptop. But this thing is so limited in what it can do it's really not even remotely a replacement for a proper laptop. We'll all just share it.
This afternoon, my daughter was baking cookies. We use the convection oven mode that our microwave has to bake things. She's afraid of starting it on her own so she asked my son to help. There was some miscommunication and she accidently chose the microwave mode. The tray she was using was metal and she had set the time for 11 minutes. I was sitting in my room chatting with my son when the smoke alarms started going off. My son jumped up and ran downstairs and it was entirely filled with smoke. THICK smoke. We didn't see any fire so he ran to unplug the microwave. I ran around opening all the windows and doors. I had a tshirt and my hand over my face but I genuinely was struggling to breathe at all. My eyes were stinging. My daughter was crying. We had every window and door wide open for over an hour and still have most of the windows open. This happened 9 hours ago but the house still smells fucking awful. It's giving me a headache and making me feel nauseous. The poor kids were shaken up. I think I managed to calm them down though. My son was coughing for a couple hours so I made him stay outside and drink lots of water. I'm so grateful for smoke alarms.
The reason I got a little sad later on was because my birthday is coming up. I was already feeling worried about it because I am absolutely broke right now and can't even afford to give the kids money for a card or a cake. I had bought myself some Reeses to enjoy over the weekend. I went downstairs later in the evening to get them and they were gone. That was one little thing I was looking forward to and it just pushed me over the edge. I got a little emotional and went to my room. I then started signing up for every damn thing that gives out free birthday treats. I figured we'd make it an adventure to go out and collect as much as we could. Cake from Costa, cookie from Greggs, etc. I'm honestly more worried about the kids than anything. I want them to have fun and not feel bad for not getting me anything. I told them at the very least we are going for a long walk so I can play PoGo. It's supposed to be nice weather on my birthday so we might as well take advantage.
Now, I'm sitting here in bed typing away and very hungry. I need food but, between that moment of sadness and the smell of the house making me feel ill, I haven't managed to eat yet. I'll go down after I post this. I'll make a nice wrap with spinach and chicken and being that it's the weekend I will have some cheese. Yum! I'm extremely sleepy right now so I will likely eat then go to sleep.
In future, I will post my mobile entries even if I don't have time or feel like writing a full entry here.
I will leave you with a m/v again:
Goodbye!